Thursday, October 05, 2006

Some Halloween Humor

Mary, this is in your honor...
I was going to put in the frog loan joke, too, but you're having such a good time telling it and I don't know Deb well enough to steal her joke. And someone would probably tell her. Here are a few Halloween-type jokes.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.
What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet

MY FAVORITE! Apparently I'm a sucker for math humor.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?
Pumpkin pi.

P.S. another joke just for Mary...the Sesame Street Bus.

There was this guy who just got a new job as a school bus driver for elementary school children. He thought it would be nice to paint the school bus with characters from Sesame Street. So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Cookie Monster and so forth. At his first stop, there was this very over-weight little girl. He opened the door and said, " Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" The girl said that her name was Pattie.

Waiting at the next stop was another over-weight little girl. He said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" She said that her name was Pattie also.

At the next stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" The woman piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son." She continued, "He is very, very special, so I want you to take extra good care of him." The bus driver replied, "No problem." "He can have this seat right behind me and I can watch him really good in the mirror."

At the next stop, there was this little country boy standing there. The little boy
was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor little boy had problems walking because of bunions all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" The little boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese."

Well, little Lester picked at his bunions all the way to the school house, nearly driving the driver crazy. Later that night, at home, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was.

The man replied: Well, I had Two Obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Cleese Picking Bunions On A Sesame Street Bus."

And just in case you're in the market
for costumes, you could always go as weird Ronald McDonald imitators. This is not an option for me. I don't like clowns. At all.

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