Sunday, November 11, 2007

Thank you, Liquid Plumr

Normally, I wash Darcyoutside. This is way more difficult than it sounds. She's a great biting, no jumping on visitors, good with people and kids, no chewing, no accidents...but bath time can be a battle. Any time I have to outsmart her, I'm in for a struggle. I'm convinced that she's smarter than I am. So short of the chase at the vet's office to get her from the car (I walk around to the passenger side, she's in the driver's seat, I walk back around there, and she moves back to the passenger side...repeat), horrible bed-hogging tendencies, and the odd yet very cute habit of burying her food, a mouthful at a time, in plain sight on the living room floor, the only problem I have with her is bath time.

It goes something like this...
1. purchase shower head with the long hose-y thing. Never installed one in the new house but as it's about 50 degrees outside, the bathtub is a requirement.
2. install said shower head. This sounds so easy. And really it should be. If I only had any mechanical abilities whatsoever.
3. trick Darcy into the bedroom and shut the door. No escape.
4. chase Darcy all over the bedroom and into the walk-in closet. Drag her out, 70 pounds of totally limp fur and dog.
5. pick up front part of limp dog and drag into tub.
6. pick up back part of limp dog and push into tub while keeping the front part from scrambling out.
7. lather, rinse...forget repeat.
8. leap out of the way of barreling wet fur monster and then duck the water spray.
9. chase running dog around room with towel
10. give up. Let running dog out of room and give her a treat.
11. wash off amazing amount of dog hair...from the tub, the walls, the every flat surface and then myself.
12. find and utilize the Liquid Plumr
13. collapse
14. worm my way back into her good graces with multiple Milk Bones and a brush.

Is it any wonder I don't do this more often?

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