Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I need a compass and a map

I decided the title "Everything I Need to Learn about Reading Maps I Learned in Theme Parks" was too long a title. I am directionally challenged. I can't do east, west, north, or south without a great deal of brain power and face contortion. I might even spin in circles.

It's really not too much a problem because I am very good with directions as long as there are street names. In the beginning of my driving career, my father would tell me "Turn left" and then immediately have to follow up with "No, your OTHER left" because the pressure of doing it perfectly and my own directional challenges would mean I could go right. Every time, I would go right.

I can handle maps now as long as I can turn the map the direction that the car is going. The way I am going is always pointed up. It is not always north. I have talked to at least one other very capable person who does the same thing so I feel just fine about admitting this to you. And my sense of urban direction is very good. Put me in a mall or a Wal-Mart and I can lead expeditions with my sixth sense, no map or compass required. Put me in charge out in the woods and we're all going to die.

What does this revelation have to do with anything? Not much really. I'm going a day early to a writers conference so I can join the thundering herd at Universal Studios Florida to see what's new.

That is all. If you're there, introduce yourself.  I'll be the one turning the map as I walk to make sure the direction I'm going always points up.

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