Thursday, September 09, 2010

Redbox Etiquette

I'm not a big stickler for lots of etiquette. I mostly make up my own rules. It's hard to explain but a lot easier than remembering where the dessert fork goes.

I spent a lot of time at the Redbox over the long weekend. If you've never tried Redbox and you live beyond the ends of the earth where there are no movie rental places, you should totally try it. I like the ones near WalGreens. I go to WalGreens to extend times between WalMart visits. I usually buy dog food and Diet Coke, the things that are required to make my house operate. Almost every time I've used the Redbox, I have to wait. Waiting, for me, means plenty of personal space. I like it. I bring out my credit card, I like to not be able to tell that your stomach is growling.

Then there's the teen age boy. I had the lovely experience of having such a specimen hanging over my shoulder while I tried to pick my movies out, mouth breathing and jiggling every jiggly thing he could reach. I tried to be patient, but if I'd had a cane I would have whacked him in the shins early on. I'm thinking about carrying a cane with me now just so I'll be ready.

I finally had enough and shot him a "what the h-e-double hockey sticks is your malfunction, sonny?" sort of look. I think I must be good at those. He muttered, "Sorry" and walked to stand behind my other shoulder near the sign showing what was available to rent.

I'm such a kind, nurturing sort of person.

Here are the movies I rented this weekend. You can understand why some people would like to have a little privacy for such moments but I have no movie shame. I like them unenlightening.
1. The Back Up Plan-J. Lo and Alex O'Loughlin. I'd say it was completely unbelievable and not very romantic but I did totally believe I would run my car into a tree if that guy was driving a tractor shirtless.
2. The Losers-I was looking forward to this because things explode and the commercials looked entertaining. And also Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Idris Elba (who is always bad but I like him anyway. I can't explain that.).
3. Cop Out-with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. Bruce. Willis. It was enough.
4. Why Did I Get Married Too-it's a Tyler Perry movie. I watch them all. This one was not great, but all of his movies have a happy ending. SPOILER: like this...Janet Jackson torments her husband who is just hanging around waiting for her to love him, they begin a divorce, and she drives him into surging into oncoming traffic, and he dies...cut to 1 year later, and she's a professor who's asked to meet with a big donor who is also a big fan and is also Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Uh, it just hardly seems fair or just, but it cracked me up. And I had the thrill of a Rock sighting.
5. Kick As$-why hasn't anyone else tried to become a superhero? Because it hurts. And this is the story of one boy who does, Nicholas Cage who is Batman-like and is also kinda weird, and his 11 year old daughter Mindy who saves the day and who slaughters without a second thought. It's a little disconcerting.

Darcy snored through them all but I'm not sure that's a comment on the value.

No comments: