Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years.

I don't know if you know this about me, but I like music. I can't carry a tune in a bucket but I play the radio with a skilled hand. The title comes from an LL Cool J song (and yes I know I'm the only one here who knew he was a rapper before he was an actor, but that's OK and also that I edited it because I couldn't leave it the way it was...just grammatically wrong and all) that makes me want to bounce on my toes and jab a boxing bag. Very few songs do that. This has nothing to do with this post except I liked the title and thought you might need to know the history. I could be wrong.

Here's the thing: I missed out on Bret Michaels when Poison was big. Hair bands were never really that big for me (although I could go for a little Bon Jovi. I mean, who couldn't?).

So the next time I encountered Bret was on Rock of Love. And when you make it to shows on VH1, it's usually over for you. They are so bad that I can't look away, but in Bret's favor is that it was a dating show instead of one of Dr. Drew's addiction shows. Those are sad. Even surrounded by a cloud of "dancers" and other exotic types, he still seemed funny and very positive.

And then he showed up on Celebrity Apprentice and I thought "Now this is going to be interesting." And interesting in the way you say interesting when you expect a train wreck but you hate to see that happen to anybody, rock star celebrity or not.

And then he went and won the whole thing, outlasting people that I thought might be in the last project. And he did it and kept his claim to the "Good Sportsmanship" award too. He worked hard, he won tasks, he had creative ideas. He didn't bad mouth anyone. He had a little trouble making it to work on time. I feel his pain.

And then the appendectomy, a brain hemorrhage and last week, a warning stroke that led doctors to find a hole in his heart. After working to win money and attention for his charity, the American Diabetes Association, he made it to the very end. He traveled to the Celebrity Apprentice finale and won. And haters say it's all because of the sympathy.

And then last night, he made a surprise appearance on American Idol to sing "Every Rose" with Casey James. And haters are saying reports of his health issues are a publicity stunt. It's true! I read it all on the internets! How could he do all that if he was really sick?

Because it's really very important to his career, to his cause, to him, maybe?

I wonder about people sometimes.

Still not a Poison fan and I think the duet with Miley still creeps me out a bit, but seeing him on American Idol made me a lot happier than Alice Cooper, Christina, and Janet Jackson all smashed together. Simon's always talking about having a moment. Bret pretty much had a moment there last night.

Time for a change?

When you're the first and the only around here, you're a Big Deal. We have these signs up on the way into Arkansas reminding all visitors that we were the home of President Bill Clinton. A place called Hope also has signs, and Hot Springs, and we have this library downtown to remind everyone. Love him or hate him, he's a Big Deal around here. I never would have imagined an Arkansan in the White House, but it happened. And it could happen again. Maybe. I'm not sure what the signs would look like then.

Maybe we should change these out for Kris Allen signs now? What do you guys think? He's the first and the only American Idol. So far. There could be more, but now he's a Very Big Deal around here.

I was going to change the license plates too. Right now, they say "The Natural State" but wouldn't "The Kick Awesome Natural State" be better? And really, we'd never have to change those because the state is both kick awesome AND natural. And just be warned, "kick awesome" is now working its way into my vocabulary. I don't know why, but I'm sure I'll abuse it long past the time it should be used.

No more American Idol posts...I'm going to have to find something else to talk about too.

You don't watch? Why?

OK, I really wasn't going to do this. I understand that there are people who don't watch American Idol. I mean, I know that they don't watch it. I don't understand it. And there are visitors here from all around the world who probably have zero interest in who's going to win it all. (Please come back tomorrow. I have more Leisure Arts sneak peeks lined up. Really. Or some other story about nothing much, but no more American Idol. I promise.)

But...if you live in the general area of anywhere-near-the-state-borders of Arkansas, you probably heard a universal "whoop" last night. The whole place is Kris Allen crazy. He's from just up the road a piece (pride of Conway, Arkansas) and everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who knows Kris and all accounts are positive. How can we not root for him to win? And now the radio and t.v. stations are going nuts. Nuts, I tell you!

He's going to be here in Little Rock and home in Conway tomorrow. And the truly dedicated workers like me (although if anyone who works for me wanted to go and take a picture for me, I'd totally be in favor of an unplanned vacation day...just sayin') are going to miss it all (except via every channel for the next 48 hours and the highlights next week on Idol). I had to post about American Idol today. It's big news around here. And the results show rescued me from the depths after Tuesday's show. I hated it all except this duet. And last night, I trembled in fear that Danny was going to go because 1. he's my favorite. I'm a sucker for a story, gravel, and Robert Downey Jr. lookalikes and 2. I was scared to death he was going to sing that song again and bring the entire stage crashing down with a primal scream.

I was greatly relieved that it didn't turn out that way. And then Alison was such a pro and class act saying goodbye. I was really impressed.

Why can't they all stay? We could just call it American IdolS. I'd be OK with that.

I don't know if this counts...

So mere minutes after posting my late Earth Day post, I had another idea. I was having a conversation with my American Idol/Hell's Kitchen friend (the one person I know who actually watches these so that we can cuss and discuss current events).

We were talking about the Andrew Lloyd Webber night on American Idol, and I was firmly praising my word nerd, David Cook. And I said he could move in with me if he wanted to. I'm just fine with a little dorky. Then she reminded me of all the other American Idols I've loved before...Bo, Taylor, Michael Johns. As I live alone, there's probably room for all of them so I am unbothered by the idea of welcoming them all. I'll have the rockin'-est house on the block. As we hit on Hell's Kitchen, I mentioned again how much I Heart Chef Gordon and that he could move in too. And then it got a little weird.

I think I'm going to need a bigger house.

She thought it would make a blog post. Maybe.

Mariah Carey? Really?

Have we been through all the possible singer/songwriters out there in the world that would come before Mariah Carey? If you don't watch American Idol (what is wrong with you?), last night was Mariah Carey night. So far this season, I've suffered through not one but two Beatles nights and enjoyed more than I thought I would a Dolly Parton night. And I'll even continue watching without Michael Johns although I will be sad that he is not there. But I have to draw the line at Mariah Carey. Normally, I watch the performances and think about fast-forwarding through the judges' comments. They really don't change much anyway. Last night, the judges were my highlights.

Last night, I sat down with my remote, happily aniticipating my American Idol/Hell's Kitchen extravaganza...to be confronted with Mariah Carey and her...self. I have this anti-Mariah, Whitney, Celine thing...just because you can hit those notes does not mean you should. Over and over. On the plus side, I did enjoy the cover versions of her songs much more than when she sings them (especially by my favorite word nerd David Cook. I don't care if he's arrogant. I seem to really like arrogant. I don't like chef shows but I Heart Hell's Kitchen and Chef Ramsay. Really, inside, I'm such a screaming girlie fan-type.)
So...in summation...I'm not watching the results show. Somebody tell me what happens, 'k? Maybe they can do something even cooler next week like Vanilla Ice week (still, I would prefer over Mariah Carey.)

And how cool is this? I just discovered you can find the performances on You Tube. I don't have to destroy my DVR if it ever lets me down again. I love that place!